Brunetti (Carlton)

194-204 Faraday St
Carlton, VIC 3053
03 9347 2801

Danni and Sylwyn’s week long stay here has ended too quickly. On their last evening in Melbourne, Vicky and I took them to D.O.C. Carlton. Fresh, uncomplicated pizzas, amazing prosciuttos and divine mozzarellas. We deliberately ordered very little to share amongst ourselves just so we could save space for dessert. And dessert was just across the road: Brunetti’s.

This coffee and cake place is a very big, busy and commercial establishment. A decade ago, I remember my ex-housemate saying it’s got the best tiramisu in Melbourne. The selection is mind-boggling. The pasticceria section boasts an almost endless array of cakes, tarts, biscottis, mignon and chocolates. There’s also a gelateria, a savoury section and an espresso bar.

“Choose what ah?”

One thing I like about Brunetti’s is that they serve T2 teas here. I prefer having sweet desserts with unsweetened tea. Yeah, I know I’m a bit of a granny =D. T2’s peppermint tea is really good. The bite of peppermint is very strong and I like the look of the triangular gossamer bags that the tea leaves come in.

Everything else about this place goes downhill from this point onwards. I have had coffees here and at its other branches at least 4-5 times. They are reliably bad. Weak, tasteless and just plain lousy. Vicky had the low-fat cheesecake. Anything low-fat probably won’t taste good, so I won’t comment about the cake, except that it actually had the stale taste of refrigerator air.

Low Fat Cheesecake.

The rest of us shared a selection of tarts and macarons. I loved taking pictures of the macarons, they are so colourful! This was also my second time eating macarons (my 1st was at Lindt Cafe). Sylwyn and I chose pistachio, vanilla, tiramisu, raspberry and passionfruit. We didn’t like it. I am not sure whether it’s a case of me never ever liking macarons to begin with, or that the macarons here were inferior. I found them overpoweringly sweet, and the flavours were either too subtle or tasted artificial. Maybe macarons are just an acquired taste.

Foreground: Créme Brulée Tart
Background: Frangipani Tart
The pretty looking tarts also didn’t deliver. They tasted factory-made, refrigerator-old, and basically relied on just being sweet sweet sweet, hoping that that would be enough satisfy us. Well, I’ll now put it on record that this is a failed plan. You can fool everyone else, but you can’t fool us. Lol, maybe our palate’s too posh. But, seriously…

As pictured here, you can see that despite having a light pizza dinner, we still collectively could not finish any of Brunetti’s desserts. Behold, a table-full of dessert corpses! It pains my heart to see food go to waste. Considering how much I like my desserts, this is a very very big fail. We ended up just having more tea and nibbling at the edges of the tarts and wrinkling our noses. Gosh we’ve grown fastidious.

Brunetti is overrated. I have been here at least 4 times and haven’t ever had a half-decent dessert here. The silly thing is, I know I’ll still be coming back simply because it’s the most convenient dessert place this side of the city. It’s like going to McDonald’s after midnight. You know it’s a bad idea, but you still do it.

View Map Of Reviews in a larger map
Brunetti on Urbanspoon

… I hope the dessert mafia won’t target me after reading this post.